How Much Parental Advice?
51 replies
·
14537 views
·
Started by College Mom
·
May 2005
I am venturing down the path of "Greekdom" with my college son. I have a few questions for you:
1) How much influence did either of your parents have on your decision once you were clearly approached?
2) Did you share everything with your parents?
3) If your dad was in one frat and your stepdad was in a different frat what would you do? Son is tight with both dads. (Girls...what if your mom/stepmom were in different sororities?)
I am honored to be close with my son but come fall '05 when he starts his sophomore year and at his school he can do this. Some frats have already approached him. I though you had to be a Junior at least huh?
I want to define my role a little bit better. Know my bounds and be correct on my info. (I have many friends in every frat/soro)
I am supportive of him becoming a member of a black fraternity. He is leaning on me for loads of advice because he does not want to offend or mislead either dad...he's cool like that.
Thanks for your thoughts!
#21
Reply
Personally, I don't see anything wrong in her presentation. It's sincere, discrete, yet gets the point across. If her son was to come on here post in the same manner i'd assume (and would hope) that he'd get the same respect especially since its a valid question. There is a big difference between a concerned mom and an uninformed interest.
Its not like she came on here saying...
"MY SON, [place random name], GOES TO [place college/university of choice] and wants to be a [XYZ] or [ABC]! Help Me... Help me please!!!"
Nonetheless some people on the site seemingly have a perpetual chip on their shoulder when it comes to things of this nature... to each their own tho.
Anyway... College Mom the best advice i can give you is make sure that your son
1) Understands why he wants to pledge.
2) Knows WHY he wants to pledge [XYZ] and realizes that his ultimate goal is to be a positive, morale, upright MAN regardless of what he does because if he isn't, he is of no use to whatever org he endeavors to become a part of.
3) Has fathers that understand regardless of what he pledges he's still connected to them bioligically or through you so no matter what his decision is, they should step up to the plate and accept it and back him because in his eyes they should be they are father figures first... not [XYZ].
just my $.98 :grin:
Good luck...
#22
Reply
College Mom is a mother that isn't ready to let her son go free from the nest.
I know I wouldn't want her son on my line as she is highly involved with his life in various aspects.
Cafe and Dreamgirl you've **** on my original take it off the board plan as you've gotten her in high alert mode now.
She and countless others will be checkin this thread regularly for a response from you, me or her.
In the absence of an active Greek Fam moderator to lock discussions I was trying to head this one off in a manner that would end favorably.
The same actions won't resolve every situation.
#23
Reply
Ya'll gonna get me fired...
Oh my goodness! In my circles moms say much worse than they sleep with their husbands. Moms come in all types, personalities, and they all have various characteristics. How boring would it be if all moms were one way?
THANK YOU!!!!
Thank you for the complement that I may not really be a mom because of some of the things that I have posted. I feel as elated as when I get asked for I.D. at a club or the store.
How would you like it if I dragged some of my other mother friends to these boards. Many of them do sound like the moms you may be more comfortable and less suspicious of. (YAWN)
I detest how some moms "sound", speak or write just to validate that they are "moms" or that they do not sleep with anyone... 
BTW: I don't go for all that: "I am married to so-in-so". Naw buddy. I sleep with a Greek. He is my hubby. We been together for nearly a quarter of a century...I got that.
I don't need to be all proper about that. Me and my husband are: Ride or Die at times. You just don't know...now, we can and do do the proper, Ebony, JET, Town and Country, social couple, Boule', Cotillion thang but, you will also find us at the 'hood bars, motorcyle club dances, hot **** house parties in the deep east of Oakland and so on so forth.
Guess my "mom" style works because I am the "apopted" mom of several HBCU kids and more.
Honestly, I have never been the stereotypical daughter, wife, mother, sister, aunt, cousin. I enjoy the stigma of being different and I relish in the fact that so many kids/collge kids "live" at our house.
You see, I am the "mom" that takes my friends daughters to the OB/GYN because I wil not judge them. You see I am the mom that slips several HBCU kids funds cause they was being silly. I am also the mom who sends all my son's friends care packeges at their HBCU's...you might wanna be nicer to be :grin:
I am aslo the mom who was going to mail all her son's Jordans to a poster who lives in Maryland 
You see I am the mom who will talk to other moms and dads, when their kids ask me, about things that they are missing, and they do listen to me. You see I am that mom.
If you were here in the Bay Area you would know someone who knows me. You would know that I am that mom "taking" about 15 college kids, that I love, to the Anger Management Concert in a few weeks. You see I am that mom who LOVES Lil'Jon, 50 cent and all that. I am also the mom who has 24's, spinners on her weekend car: Navigator...that's me. Some of you now know who I am...
I am also the mom with a son I love, who keeps me on my toes and more.
I am also the mom who once taught high school, loves kids and knows how to at least TRY and keep it real. 8)
AND, I am the mom that sons and daughters are coming to to advise them on how to tell they momma or daddy that they ain't pledging their frat. In the Bay Area yo child not pledging your frat is next to your child gettin arrested! It is real so deal with it.
Darn, missed my conference call messin with yall...
BTW: I don't go for all that: "I am married to so-in-so". Naw buddy. I sleep with a Greek. He is my hubby. We been together for nearly a quarter of a century...I got that.
I don't need to be all proper about that. Me and my husband are: Ride or Die at times. You just don't know...now, we can and do do the proper, Ebony, JET, Town and Country, social couple, Boule', Cotillion thang but, you will also find us at the 'hood bars, motorcyle club dances, hot **** house parties in the deep east of Oakland and so on so forth.
Guess my "mom" style works because I am the "apopted" mom of several HBCU kids and more.
Honestly, I have never been the stereotypical daughter, wife, mother, sister, aunt, cousin. I enjoy the stigma of being different and I relish in the fact that so many kids/collge kids "live" at our house.
You see, I am the "mom" that takes my friends daughters to the OB/GYN because I wil not judge them. You see I am the mom that slips several HBCU kids funds cause they was being silly. I am also the mom who sends all my son's friends care packeges at their HBCU's...you might wanna be nicer to be :grin:
I am aslo the mom who was going to mail all her son's Jordans to a poster who lives in Maryland
You see I am the mom who will talk to other moms and dads, when their kids ask me, about things that they are missing, and they do listen to me. You see I am that mom.
If you were here in the Bay Area you would know someone who knows me. You would know that I am that mom "taking" about 15 college kids, that I love, to the Anger Management Concert in a few weeks. You see I am that mom who LOVES Lil'Jon, 50 cent and all that. I am also the mom who has 24's, spinners on her weekend car: Navigator...that's me. Some of you now know who I am...
I am also the mom with a son I love, who keeps me on my toes and more.
I am also the mom who once taught high school, loves kids and knows how to at least TRY and keep it real. 8)
AND, I am the mom that sons and daughters are coming to to advise them on how to tell they momma or daddy that they ain't pledging their frat. In the Bay Area yo child not pledging your frat is next to your child gettin arrested! It is real so deal with it.
Darn, missed my conference call messin with yall...
#24
Reply
Laid Back...that hurt!
Now, THAT is a new take on not invitin' prospects to be in yo frat...wait til the moms hear that!
Thank GOD you do not run things at my son's HBCU. I can say that the frats, yes, I KNOW at least one to three members per frat, DO NOT feel as you do. I forgive you because you really don't know me or my son. If you did you would fall in line(wink)
I ain't gonna mess up yo set up on these boards (rolls eyes) geeesshhh!
:lol:
#25
Reply
laidbackfella wrote:College Mom is a mother that isn't ready to let her son go free from the nest. I know I wouldn't want her son on my line as she is highly involved with his life in various aspects. Cafe and Dreamgirl you've **** on my original take it off the board plan as you've gotten her in high alert mode now. She and countless others will be checkin this thread regularly for a response from you, me or her. In the absence of an active Greek Fam moderator to lock discussions I was trying to head this one off in a manner that would end favorably. The same actions won't resolve every situation.
