Real Talk...listen up ladies! (A black's reason for cheating)

Hello All, I know this may sound a little redundant but, I was having a conversation with a male friend of mine and I wanted to know from a man's perspective "why do men cheat." Whoa, did he give me an earful ladies..lol. Anyway read the conversation below and feel free to share your feelings, opinions, etc. on this subject. Nyla: I need some real talk right now. I'm so tired of men (black especially) saying how they want a good woman who's smart, funny, attractive, self driven, have a career, freaky, and the whole nine and then when they get them you all don't know how to handle them. Some even become intimidated. What is really up with all that. Why do men cheat? why would a man have sugar at home but, go out in the streets and start messing with ish? Explain this for me please. Male: The only simple way I can put it is that it is nature. A man will be a man first, my example I always use is even the Fine Halle Berry, couldnt keep here men from going astray, and she is mostly every mans dream......And for most men it is all about the hunt, and after the actual ****, it is boring, and they are out to hunt once more. It is not rocket science, just know that it is nothing that the women does, it is just what we do, no matter how great the woman is, there is always another woman on the radar.

Ehhhh I can't agree with that 100%. Some of his response yes, but not all. I don't believe there's no set in stone definition of why a man would cheat. I'm sure another brother can come in here and put another twist to it. He could cheat b/c it did get boring or it could be that he just didn't know what he wanted...or he simply got what he wanted. It's not rocket science but it isn't "baking soda and vinegar" either. Men are just as complicated as women, you think you know but you have no idea. Women are emotional and men are physical. Here's a scenario: If a man knows that all he has to do is give her a few compliments, be romantic and tell her the "L" :o word at the approriate time, it's a wrap! He'll get his physical needs satisfied and hers are satisfied emotionally, or so she thinks! In the meantime he's scoping out the next lady who just wants a good time and then he cheats. When his lady finds out she gets, "It's not you, it's me!" And from the responses on the "I Can't Go For That" thread, some of you will cut him loose b/c of it. That's enough for my response, I can't tell ya'll everything. For the record, Halle Berry isn't my dream...that's reserved for Ms Jackson.

Well, it is not as complicated as most people make it. The real reason why people cheat is because of a lack of integrity. It boils down to people lacking honor, and which I feel most people, especially men, need to get back to. It is really hard for men to have integrity when they are infiltrated with so much rap music, which it's voice is louder than their own. There are plenty of men who have no respect for women, and if you dig deeper you will find that they don't even respect themselves. How are you going to give something that you don't have? How are you going to give love, respect, or faithfulness if you don't have it? In order to give something you must have it.

It's simple. He's an idiot!

To get back at ya'll.

Speaking for myself, cheating is not an option for me. I prefer to just let him go, give him the boot. I would be hurting him but degrading myself, I think. You know the saying: Two wrongs don't make a right. I cheated one time in my life, honestly, on a man that stole my heart and crushed it, but that one time was the most sweetest revenge I have ever done. I made sure he knew and I don't regret it.

Personally, I don’t believe in cheating on a person. I would rather move on. However, I think people cheat due to a few reasons that include greed, insecurity, trust, and fear. Majority of the time it’s because one of the parties broke the trust barrier. After the trust is gone, people start cheating because their foundation is damaged. I think this is why people say communication is important. If there is a problem, you should talk and correct the issue rather than cheat. Therefore, it is important to find an individual that complements you spiritually, mentally, and physically.

You're right. I do believe and practice communicating with my mate. If there is a problem or a potential one, I address it as soon as I can. One thing I dislike is for "us" to have a problem and I don't even know about it.