Hornet_Psi wrote: Listen to these tales of cheatin...You'll laugh!
The Six Affairs
The Second Affair
There was a middle-aged couple that had two stunningly beautiful teenage daughters. The couple decided to try one last time for the
son they always wanted. After months of trying, the wife finally got
pregnant and sure enough, delivered a healthy baby boy nine months
later. The joyful father rushed into the nursery to see his new son.
He took one look and was horrified to see the ugliest child he had
Ever seen. He went to his wife and told her there was no way he could
be the father of that child.
"Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered!"
Then he gave her a stern look and asked, "Have you been fooling around on me?"
The wife just smiled sweetly and said, "Not this time!"
The Fourth Affair
A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening
the front door. "Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."
Then she quickly rubbed baby **** all over him and then dusted him
with talcum powder. "Don't move until I tell you to," she whispered.
"Just pretend you're a statue."
"What's this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.
"Oh it's a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smith's bought one
for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."
No more was said about the statue, not even later when they went to
sleep. Around two in the morning, the husband got out of bed, went to the
kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of
milk.
"Here," he said to the statue, "eat something. I stood like an idiot
at the Smith's for three days and nobody offered me as much as a
glass of water."
The Fifth Affair
A man walks into a nightclub one night. He goes up to the bar and
asks for a beer. "Certainly, Sir, that'll be 1 cent." "One Cent?",
exclaimed the man. So the man glances over at the menu and asks,
"Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas and a fried
egg?"
"Certainly Sir," replies the barman, "but that comes to real money."
"How much money?" inquires the man.
"4 cents," the bartender replied. "Four Cents?", exclaimed the man.
"Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The bartender replied, "The same thing as I'm doing to his business."
The Sixth Affair
Jake was dying. His wife, Becky, was maintaining a candlelight vigil
by his side. She held his fragile hand, tears running down her face. Her praying roused him from his slumber. He looked up and his pale
Lips began to move slightly.
"Becky my darling," he whispered.
"Hush my love," she said. "Rest, don't talk."
He was insistent.
"Becky," he said in his tired voice, "I have something that I must
confess."
"There's nothing to confess," replied the weeping Becky, everything's all right, go to sleep."
"No, no. I must die in peace, Becky. I ... I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend and your mother!"
"I know, my sweet one" whispered Becky, "let the poison work".
