Fatherhood
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Posted By: Lamont Jackson on November 18, 2009 Young Men Need Direction By Lamont Jackson 11-9-09 To all the men out there that have taken time to be in their son's or daughters lives, I say thank you. As a young man growing up on Chicago's south side I recall having many friends being raised by a single mother or a grandparent. In most cases, the father was absent leaving the male child with few acceptable role models. As time went on and my friends and I entered our teen years, the males without positive influences would slowly become fascinated with and engulfed in gang activity. This activity slowly torn away at the fragile fabric the single mother's had lain. As their gang activity increased, our socialization's decreased. As we began to move into our early adult years, my misdirected and misdirected buddies became virtually invisible. A few of them, I later found out, spent time in prison as a result of their misguided activities. It would be unfair to categorize all males, growing up without a father in their lives, as misdirected. I was raised with out a father. However, there were positive influences to help guide me along the rocky roads of adolescence and young adulthood. A few of my younger buddies raised in situations similar mine also had male influences which aided them along their individual journeys. When I became a father, I was adamant about being a recognizable presence in my children’s lives. It has a very rewarding experience. It has been more rewarding than I could have ever imagined. I could not imagine having children and not being in the home to help raise them. My godson and I were sitting in the living room one day just watching television, playing video games together and watching sports. At the end of the day, we were preparing his bag so that I could take him home. As we finished packing his things he said, "I wish my father would do this with me". I ask what things? To which he replied, "I wish he would spend quality time with me". It was at that point that I truly understood what being a father and mentor means. It’s not the income that I bring in or the amount of yard work that I do. Being a good father did not mean being the first one to buy the newest gadgets for my kids. In my experience it was apparent that being a good father meant just spending time with my kids. Just being there to listen and to guide them. Being a good father meant, just listen to my kids without judging and offering advice which gave them an option to choose a direction. It meant explaining that all choices have a consequence. And the choices you make today set’s the course for your life tomorrow. If this blog offers any insight for fathers out their then please feel free to share this blog. If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Lamont Jackson
From Raleigh, NC Saint Augustine's University class of 2011 Member Since August 2008 |
Comments
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Lamont, this was a very well written article. I can relate. There are thousands of fathers like myself who have been pushed away by the mother of their children. In my case, there was absolutely NO apparent reason for her not wanting me to be a part of our young son's life. Then there was little or no intervention from the legal court system. I want people to know about my personal story. I plan to start my own blog soon on this subject.
Thursday, November 19th 2009 at 12:49AM |
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Abe, thanks, please let me know when your article is written. I would love to read it. I am sure this is a heartbreaking situation. Unfortunately, it happens to a lot of men. When Fathers just like you are available and ready to be a good parent, it is truly unfortunate for both the father and the child when that opportunity has taken away. Please start writing soon. It is great therapy. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Lamont Jackson Thursday, November 19th 2009 at 9:24AM |
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