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Difference Between Having Your Man In Check Vs. On A Leash

Difference Between Having Your Man In Check Vs. On A Leash
Posted By: Alexandra Coppadge on April 07, 2011


Recently, when I was surfing the blogosphere I came across this picture of Doug Christie, a former NBA player, and his wife Jackie. I don’t know if you all remember but Jackie is one of the original, notoriously famous basketball wives in the 90’s. Unlike the women on VH1’s reality series “Basketball Wives,” who are known for losing their NBA ballers, Jackie was known for having her man on a tight leash. Hence the picture. It was rumored that Doug would keep his head down during the game so he wouldn’t be tempted to look at the cheerleaders. It was rumored that Doug had to throw code hand signs to Jackie during the game. And it was also rumored that Jackie would follow the team bus on the road to make sure Doug wasn’t cheating. I don’t know whether that is true or not, but the idea of it possibly being true makes my head spin.

As a woman, I understand the urge to want to have your man ‘in check.’ That means he respects you and he makes others respect you. He doesn’t lie. He doesn’t cheat. Most importantly, he does his best not to hurt you. ‘In check’ means a man knows the value of a relationship. He understands that in order for the relationship to work he must take an active role in preserving it. He cannot come, go and do as he pleases and expect to always be forgiven.



A man is ‘in check’ because his woman made it clear she will not tolerate the bullsh*t.

I am in support of women who have their men ‘in check,’ because it means they are not willing to be a doormat. But there is a distinct difference between when a man is ‘in check’ and when he is on a leash.

Without a doubt, Jackie Christie had her husband on a tight leash. Almost suffocating.

Ladies, when you designate strict times for your man to call you, forbid him to go certain places, or control who he associates with you are putting him on a leash. No one likes to be controlled, but men especially dislike it. Men innately possess of phobia of commitment, so controlling every aspect of their lives triggers a panic button signaling retreat. Think to yourself, has a man ever said you’re acting like his mother? That’s man code for: stop telling me what to do. Men view women who attempt to control their lives as trying to be their mom. Men aren’t looking for a second mother; they’re looking for a partner.

Women like me and Aretha, who demand that R E S P E C T; can confuse respect with control. But there is a clear difference between the two. Ladies, just remember you want your man to be with you not belong to you, so treat your significant other as your partner and not your pet!

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Alexandra Coppadge
Univ of NC at Chapel Hill class of 2010
Thanks!
Thursday, April 7th 2011 at 7:28PM
Marta Fernandez
CUNY -Queens College class of 1985
Much needed advice for the females, and the males who don't know how to be a man, keeping him in check is correct, and when he gets out of line, check him out of your life...there is a difference. Hope this post is taken seriously. Nobody wants to be "henpecked" the old school word, but if you have to keep him on a leash is he really yours?
Wednesday, May 4th 2011 at 7:59AM
Hija Chang
Management at See Moss Interactive
Enjoyed your point of view and the many lessons*
Monday, October 21st 2024 at 9:54PM
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