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I Dont Know Anymore

I Dont Know Anymore
Posted By: ashley r on July 28, 2006

I have to get this off my chest. Have you ever had a really close friend and it seems as though all of a sudden the closeness you have with this person just fades almost all of a sudden? Well this is what is happening with me and my best friend it seems as though we just dont have much in commom anymore. Of course I understand that people grow apart because sometimes life just pulls people in different directions.



She has children and a boyfriend, while im single and still live at home so of course our priorities are different. At the same token I believe that good friends won't let anything come between them, for a long time we only had eachother to confide in and lean on, now it seems as though I've taken a backseat to her boyfriend and other new friends that she has made. It hurts my feelings because it's like when you had nothing or when nobody else understood you I was there now that your world is looking up im nobody to you. I don't know if I should tell her or just call the friendship quits. I feel better just had to vent.
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Kiesha Patterson
Howard University class of 2009
You should tell her how u feel because she may not realize that she is puttin u on the back burner. Don't give up so easily if the bond is as strong as you say you should b able to get through this.
Friday, July 28th 2006 at 11:32PM
Jane L. Wilson
University of Arkansas at Pine Bluff class of 1998
Hi Ashley,
I agree with Kiesha. You might try to reach out to your "best friend" by giving her a holla and asking her what happened, especially since the distance you've described is seeming to effect you more than her. Maybe you could even suggest treating her to lunch or dinner, your treat, if possible, to catch up on what's been going on in each other's lives.
If all else fails, and I hope it doesn't, know that you did what you could to reconnect, but also that you do "understand that people grow apart because sometimes life just pulls people in diferent directions," might help you to just do your thing and let time (GOD) take care of the rest.
I, too, have dealt with a situation wherein I had to let go of a "best friend" due to changing life focuses. But, time really does help ease the hurt endured from a lose of a close friend.

Good Luck, though, in your attempt(s) to reach out to your friend.
Saturday, July 29th 2006 at 10:43AM
Thoughout life we will have different friends. God puts people in your path for that season in your life. We have to walk in our season. This does not mean that you won't be friends anymore, it just means that you will have different paths. I've had this happened a few times, but God will assure that you are provided the appropriate 'companionship' for that time in your life. It's okay Baby Girl. My best friend for the past 5 or so years is someone who I never talked to in high school. My best friend in high school is still in my life but not nearly as close as we were.
Saturday, July 29th 2006 at 4:42PM
Tequila Cheatham
Howard University class of 2010
That's funny how you brought that up because my best friend and I just went thru something similar. First, a bestfriend is suppose to be what it is...a "best friend". We suppose to be able to talk to our friends about anything, espaecially if it's something concerning that person.Since i didn't feel comfortable talking to her about it face to face at the time, I wrote her a letter expaining how I really felt.Yea, it's kinda high schoolish, but it worked because she wrote me back and that's when we sat down to express our feelings. Get everything off of your chest at that moment.I mean, if you live in different towns it may be knida different cause you won't be able to hang out as much but if you live together(like me) or stay down the street, then it'll be easier to get things back on track with you two. I know how it feels to have your friends leave you to continue on with their life in which you thought you was apart of, but that's life you know? You just have to take that time out for you and don't try to look for comfort in other people or "new friends" because you'll never find someone o fill your best friends shoes.If your attempt to talk to her doesn't work, then just do what you have to do for you and continue on your own path okay?But don't continue on without letting her know ow you really feel cause it'll always be on your mind.God bless.
Sunday, July 30th 2006 at 2:46PM
ROBYN Jubilee
Morgan State University class of 2008
If you and your friend was truly good friends then you should talk to her. If she wasn't anyone then i would say "chalk it", keep it moving and meet new people. Maybe because her priorities has changed, her focus is just other places, but don't neccessarily means she lost love for you. As we mature we realize that WE has to come first, then family, then friends. Maybe she's just tryin to get herself straight for her child and making sure her child is straight, but still have that love for you but too busy to express it. Just go to her maturely and tell her how you feel. Make sure she hears you out and leave nothing behind because in reality, that could be yal last conversation.

Maybe she don't realize that she's hurting you and by you coming to her she could realize what she's doing and wake up. If not, then except that people change (don't neccessarily mean it's a bad thing) and things happen for a reason.

Also, maybe involving yourself more with the things going on in her life could bring yal closer. I also have friends who had children and even got married, so of course we aren't as close. But i make sure i am involved with the children and respect their relationship with their partner. Your role as a friend might change, but your friendship will still be alive.
Friday, August 11th 2006 at 1:40AM
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