Dr. Tartt's Relationship Advice: Want A Diamond Ring...Better Learn How to COOK!
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Posted By: Alduan Tartt on July 08, 2008 Black women deserve to marry. Black women desire to marry. Black women date frequently to find a husband. So, why are so many beautifully talented and available sisters still single? I took it upon myself to ask that very question while conducting research for my new book, The Ring Formula: How to Marry MR. RIGHT (available at www.drtartt.com and www.amazon.com). What I discovered, quite frankly, was not what I expected. I assumed that many women would list that they were too busy, disconnected from eligible Black bachelors, or the supply of MR. RIGHTS was too low. However, I discovered something that blew my mind but later made a lot of sense: MANY WOMEN HAVE NEVER BEEN TAUGHT HOW TO COURT AND DATE MEN TOWARDS MARRIAGE In fact, many laughed when the idea was posed and indicated that they thought it was the man’s sole responsibility to do all the courting. When I posed the following question they changed their mind: “What’s in it for the man to stop dating other women and focus all his attention on you and only you for the rest of his life?” At that point it became clear that my sisters needed some insight on exactly what makes men contemplate marriage. In this article, I’ll cover the first point…. # 1- LEARN HOW TO COOK Cooking to nourish your man is step number one in developing your own Ring Formula towards marriage. Most healthy men have a very positive relationship with their mothers. This relationship was born and cultivated based on mom’s ability to feed, care, and love her son. As a result, sons are fiercely loyal to mom and will do anything she asks for as long as they live. Mom will always hold the position of “first lady” in every man’s heart. Well, if mom is the first lady then the wife needs to be the “last lady” and follow suit with nourishing her man. For clarity, Cooking is NOT about being your man’s maid or personal cook. Instead, it’s about taking the primary roll in nourishing his mind, body, ego and soul better than any other woman can. When you pick out the freshest, plumpest, and all-natural fruits and vegetables and then season, simmer, and stir with your man in mind; you are in rare air! After all, where is a man going to find that type of loving outside of his mom’s or grandmother’s house? Cook with love and your man will begin to compare you to the first lady herself. Once you get mentioned in the company of this kind of royalty, you are well on your way to marriage. Try this…Wake up early and prepare your man a healthy power breakfast or dinner before his big meeting. Stroke his ego and let him know that you are his number one cheerleader regardless of outcome. If he gets the promotion, cook a great meal and celebrate. If he fails to get the promotion, cook an even bigger meal and tell him, “You are still my King, everything happens in time.” Trust me ladies, any man who doesn’t appreciate that is a FOOL and not worth your love! The good men who are looking to settle down will give you high marks and start to pare down their list of female “associates.” Too much celebrating at this point would be premature because you’ll still need some additional formulas to secure that ring. However, it’s OK for you to peruse your favorite wedding magazine and practice throwing that rice while you’re preparing his next meal. Tune in next week for Step 2 of The Ring Formula: How to Marry MR. RIGHT (How to deal with insecurities). Can’t wait? Purchase a copy of The Ring Formula at www.drtartt.com www.amazon.com TODAY! _______________________________________________________________________ Dr. Alduan Tartt is a psychologist, motivational speaker and author of THE RING FORMULA: How To Marry MR. RIGHT. Visit Dr. Tartt online at www.drtartt.com or contact him personally at 404-377-4757 or drtartt@drtartt.com to set up media interviews and speaking engagements. Be sure to tune into TVONe (www.tvoneonline.com) on July 20th (Sundays and Wednesdays @ 10p.m.) for the premier of the hit new show: Black Men Revealed: Season 2. Dr. Tartt will be the featured relationship advice expert alongside co-hosts, The 2 Live Stews, and Bryan Michael-Cox on the August 17 & 20th episodes). Tune IN! It’s going to be controversial! If you enjoyed this article, Join HBCU CONNECT today for similar content and opportunities via email! |
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Alduan Tartt
Owner/CEO, Visionary Minds, Inc. Morehouse College class of 1996 Member Since January 2008 |
Comments
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Hello! I completely agree with what you are saying. I also listened to you on staightalk blog radio. Women have lost site to what it takes to keep a man. The easy part is getting them, but most can't keep them. Women now days don't cook, but love to eat. Everyone is going out to eat. Yes maybe on the first date sometimes, but if you are really interested in someone, what's wrong with cooking a candlelight dinner, with some nice jazz playing, glass of wine, and really getting in tune with each other. what would be better is to continue that after you got the man. It's a beautiful thing to make the man you want feel like he is the man, he is the king. when a woman does those things, along with good lovin'( key word, along with), then you probably won't have a problem losing him to the next woman who handles her business!!! I have had three relationships in my life and have had good and not so good experiences, but I'll tell you what, I they all still love me dearly and they have regrets of losing me. They were young (we both were), so they didn't understand the value of a good woman. Now they do! I have no regrets. God bless Wednesday, July 9th 2008 at 12:18AM |
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Taj, Preach on! Preach on! Don't rule out ex's who needed to mature to see your worth...unless they need to be ruled out for other reasons...LOL! Wednesday, July 9th 2008 at 7:44AM |
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Thanks Elynor. Look out for the book tour and seminar series..I'm going to really get into the issue then because I will solicit input and interaction from the audience. Kinda of like..."Ask Dr. Tartt live." What do you think? Nice smile BTW. www.drtartt.com Thursday, July 10th 2008 at 8:24AM |
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BROTHA!!! You are on point. Many women, especially young educated black when, feel that we are too much of commodity in the business and a professional realm to be confined to "the kitchen" or any other area of domesticity. As we begin to grow and mature, we realize that while career aspirations and intelligence are definitely attractive to men, we forget that it is our RESPONSIBILITY to tak care of our men (as it is for the man to care for the woman, and not just financially). I have, at times, felt that I deserved to appreciated for the things that I have accomplished for myself not giving thought to what I was accomplishing in the relationship. Very selfish mindset. So all in all, it takes maturity and humility on the part of the woman to realize we need to step up to the "plate", and it takes a man to realize when a woman is trying her best and to direct her where she might need a little improvement, but to do so without coming off as a critic. I AM LEARNING HOW TO COOK and getting pretty good at it is I might add. ;-) I'm gonna have to pick up a copy of your book. Friday, July 11th 2008 at 3:39PM |
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I'm laughing while reading this because I have been coaching my friend on dating so that she may bump into Mr. Right. I have told her about courting and sending praises (verbal and presence support) to whomever she is dating at the time. I wanted her to be able to tell the difference between a man who is worthy of her attention and the guy that is cool to hang out with once or twice a month.
Tuesday, July 29th 2008 at 12:57PM |
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